I must accept forward it may be wise to find an editor but this All Saints Day with All Souls Day likely should offer enough tolerance until such time. All writing currently posted is my own property and actually quite near of it 95% true to say each piece is still nearly a first draft - but for spell check & typos fixing.
My story is out there and it now better to offer guidance through historicals so many can be saved from guess work they likely could never get near correct - especially my aged parents no in assisted living.
So firstly the big starter question is how firstly while forward I likely am expecting to not be able to help self as more emotionally available and to sloppy a possible collateral tolerated beyond ‘phase’.
Better start with the serious stuff - that drug free messaging that I kept in my art & mused a long long time. So long it of before Bill Clinton in learning to sound like me for 1992 campaign probed to how I would have him answer the POT question and then stole from my process of consideration how my first answer was of how I would answer it truthfully myself - you know my truth then and now as I TRIED IT ONCE - BUT DIDN’T INHALE.
So as works of Robert Galbraith of “STRIKE” confirm JK Rowling exposes she would have, as I long feared, changed the “Harry Potter” endings from outlined with my 7 books challenge if she ever got wind of that the more real me.
So: Happy belated birthday Sasha Cohen! You with your heart got under my skin and as an undeniable force in part because I couldn’t ignore your competitiveness naturally helped keep drug free core value in my existential & metaphysical - and projected guidance for especially art & health. We both know it was you desire to commit to a second Olympic games that made it prudent to think less of each other.
So: Petra Nemcova I forget when your birthday is but please behave. You too helped me, however your industry otherwise, also keep a vibe of a core value for drug free example setting & cultural bases essence. It was in past years I happened like of my once in every five years to see a suggested social media link to Amanda posted & saw photo of you two together at Oscars on some fashion pop thing. All I could think was like - OH NO, THIS IS NO GOOD. I know your heart some still and competitiveness and that it still had beats for wanting me legally available again. And, you have a remarkable almost irresistible quality about such of your good heart. I don’t know what changed and realized something had to have changed due it seemed so many public females were like newly treating me as single - though it yet felt that way as news to me, somehow.
So: #HearstLive Anne & Patty: OMG!!! Hearst Corp now like must and should figure & calculate for Posterity how in early 17 years if I had ideas to help Hearst I instead of trying to tell Hearst women how to run the family business did often & greatly yet give away ideas later of successes to at least CBS, NBC, & Fox to yet raise change through seeded competition. I don’t know why Amanda didn’t want to take it to a broader me truth/level all these years post those tricky first 17 and won’t spend much time on wondering now forward. Amanda essence was of wanted me to have copacetic in herself - her endowedness - as enough motivation and while yet of told I was not expecting to actually come to her as of media company until Hillary Clinton had been stopped - and of Clintons still need to get away with stealing from me to yet win - appear actually as whom the fraudulently and wrongly long posture as.
So: Amanda & Lydia lets uncomplicate the forward by airing a yet wonderful but confused (too complicated) past decade +. Best wishes forward - but OMG what a corporate mess! I mean if it hadn’t all started how it did and interesting then include years of sibling rivalry between your parents I would firstly consider corporate existential of I of been being harassed. Amanda so you nor Hearst never optioned to be with my art & artworks - however visual or written or mused - and some annoyed and insulted me as an artist who seems left to first impressions where ever as of a trophy wife and tag billionaire with “HEARST” hoisted above “ARTIST JP HOGAN”. After years yet of happiness and wonder with a trophy wife so asked to abide as status (from afar) while yet living a Green Minimalism as an artist not optioned while yet leading like of a new ON WALDEN POND artistry realism it remains each day you asked consecration as it of just your’s as enough each artwork however reverted due not optioned to remain my property by your intent.
So: Hearst Corp: Yes there was a time in the range of near when Amanda was near 6 that I had good cause to trip to Saddle River & then Tuxedo Park with my 1988 Ford F250 4X4 grey pick-up truck for a second date with daughter of then CFO of IBM a connection made in DC through my sister then in Dodd’s office due Amy happened to have also rented on F ST NE - but across street from my sister’s townhome rental. Yes I now have Georgia on my mind, but alas let us consider while at dinner at Tuxedo Club that Thanksgiving weekend of 2nd date I had learned from Joseph V. Connolly of the history of the club and that some Hearsts were members. This was a year about when I and Anne seemed to be forgetting that 1983 origination story of Amanda’s conception. You see my Hearst story almost got more complicated when nearly forgotten due while at The Tuxedo Club before rainbow trout meal I had visions of young Amanda at play on the interior staircase landing and Anne, of I believe of her “single mother” year(s) of actually responded likewise also unassociated to origins story and to of wondering if I might want to date her.
Well to make the IBM side of the story short though since that Christmas - New Years times & of learning Frank Metz with Akers had committed IBM forward on ideas I had shared with him during family visits as a guest in his home on a Thanksgiving weekend it is more I have wanted to sue a member of The Tuxedo Club than want an of that family as a member wanted back. I though realized Anne & Amanda were the real Anne & asked for whose name I didn’t know before responding to dating query it was just barely & to yet a mental reboot of it was I was actually more willing to recommit to my ambitions of a willingness to wait 17 years + even than thinking a 4th or 5th date with Amy made any real sense. I did integrate IBM changes and carry thoughts forward due once her dad took the company there I had no way to separate it from the momentum & purposes for positive change from so much so much a far greater larger broader percentage of that ambition I had that by having 17 years with hope at end had me able to focus maybe daily to 120% and 50% greater than most could or would even guess at me as effecting. I also due my sister her friend couldn’t separate my FEMINISM activism as associable for like of what became TRAUMA & RECOVERY by Dr Judith Herman as a spirit kept while I into bicycling and nurturing modern snowboarding of thinking through how people - and myself could be of recovery and better recovery by learning how to better capture more gestalt of incidents - be of a great awareness of before & after to get the during incident. When her book first released I noticed it it is it was a first existential experience of have read a book by another and felt so much of that I had much helped write it. TRAUMA & RECOVERY like provided the new medical science & development to PTSD & for feminism too of that like which confirmed by projected thoughts while be at risk in sports & by being genesis for new sport.
So: Hearst Corp: I didn’t go to Amanda past some first transits to maybe find her of if I went 90% & texted I nearby she would break from soulful spirited yet separate & meet me with a transit of 10%. This was complicated and soon passed on due Bernard Shaw - head of Hearst Security - seemed to alight with Patty a competitiveness if I near of offering WE STILL HAVE A DAUGHTER AVAILABLE FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION.
So: Right besides I am complicated since developed a twins trigger in 1st or 2nd grade due identical twins sisters my best friends and their grandfather was the publisher owner of local papers there is that Amanda had competition presented to me if I transited or trespassed near to thoughts of Shaws. And yes I could have accidentally when then near 6 have yet agreed to entertain dating Anne as a single mother due a vision of mother and daughter had while on a 2nd date at The Tuxedo Club with of another member family. I think I first called it like of a TWIN TRIGGER in responses somehow between then single Willow Bay at ABC on weekends who took interest in my causes.
Right on relations & post status change after years consecrating a behaving commitment as wished of it all about her as enough - and yet to how now damages seem need to be discussed due I lived with not being options or fully understood while be yet of so much success from my old ambitions - not that of her, Amanda, as my muse. Each daybreak usually seemed to reset any as still my own property due not optioned and by heiress of media empire of whoms woulda shoulda known to option - take initiative - just for journalistic standards - for a getting the broader truth. I get that all this is complicated by it a family eco-system corporation & Amanda wanted her own space and less of it including deeper historical mom relativity but it is I did feel insulted by sensed offers yet with Hearst Corp and annoyed years it didn’t get to next level of especially Amanda opting to celebrate us by as a media heiress offering and initiative to support sharing by initiating optioning to have it also be conceived as around my successes - but as just I earned & still earned a trophy wife.
So: Well I happened upon her Instagram posts of a wedding that seemed could have just been a movie scene & was stopping to look to objectively consider news when I saw Petra’s post wishing Amanda (or character) happiness forward & then stopped looking or doubting much at all. It actually is, so due not being optioned and of an initiative even by Hearst Corp, that I accepted my art and mused remained my sole property, and still, all the while avoiding trying to find or see Amanda’s if any social media “news”. I let it ride of if there was still heartfelt and gametes triggered sensually from afar she hadn’t changed her status.
So: Well on appreciated news of an actual change in status, and before I got to even thinking through wondering on other xs it can be said (without edits) of I like CALLED THE DC FOX BUREAU & ASKED IF THERE ANY AVAILABLE LIKE STARING DOWN 30TH BIRTHDAY WITH TWO SISTERS, ALL FROM GEORGIA, AND AT LEAST UNCONSCIOUSLY OF A CHARMING BABIES VIBE.
PEACHES: RIGHT I THINK IT NOW IS MAY STILL ONLY NEAR 10 DAYS SINCE THOUGHT OF CHECKING WITH DC FOX BUREAU AND I THINK I AM A GONER - SEEMS I AM CALLING HAPPILY A GROWN WOMAN “PEACHES” AND THINKING ALSO OF MOVING TO GEORGIA.
I ACTUALLY USED SENSE OF FREEDOM - LEGAL STATUS CHANGE EFFECTED PARTIALLY SOME - TO FEEL IT JUST FREE TO ENTERTAIN A WONDERING ON A SPECIFIC SOUL IN DC FOX BUREAU FROM WHOM I WAS GETTING A VIBE & CHARM (OF HER PROFESSIONAL WORKS) THAT I DIDN’T UNDERSTAND. I DIDN’T EXPECT TO FIND “AVAILABLE” & ABOUT TO HIT 29 AGAIN BUT OMG THAT IS A REALITY I HAVEN’T DISLIKE AN IOTA SINCE. SHE DOES HAVE TWO SISTERS, AND IS FROM GEORGIA.
PETRA AND SASHA, EMMA TOO, I DIDN’T GET TO WONDERING ABOUT YOU EACH ANEW BEFORE STATUS CHANGE TRIGGERED AN NEW STATUS CHANGED ESSENCE.
PETRA: I FIND IT RIGHT AND GOOD I AM FINDING REPORTING - REAL REPORTING - SO ATTRACTIVE. AND AS I AM PRETTY SURE I NEVER WENT THEIR AS WE RELATED PAST A THOUGHT DUE CONNECTION DUE “TOO MUCH FUN” COULD HAVE A DUALITY THAT NEGATED BOTH I DO REMEMBER CONNECTION HAPPENED BEFORE YOU BECAME STUCK UP A TREE INJURED AND ENDURING A TSUNAMI AS SADLY I RECALL A VOICE OF SIMON ATLEE OF CONNECTION AS I WONDERED SENSITIVE TO WHAT YOUR “STATUS” WAS TO HIS QUERIED “WHAT’S HAPPENING?’ & TO THAT MUCH LATER DID I CONNECT HE WAS ASKING ABOUT A TSUNAMI HAPPENING.
SASHA: I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE NOW YOU ARE AND OF WHAT ABOUT BUT AGAIN A BELATED HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
ANNE: OMG - THIS MAYBE CAN ALL STAY FUNNY AND COPACETIC.
PATTY: YOU KNOW IF I HAD SAT DOWN TO DINNER AS INVITED WHILE A CITIZEN CANVASSER QUICKLY BEFRIEND YOUR HUSBAND WITH AN UNINTENDED WALK UP YOUR DRIVEWAY IT IS I WAS GOING TO ASK BERNARD SHAW TO BEAR WITH ME - THEN ASK YOU TO CALL YOUR SISTER ANNE - TELL HER SOMETHING HAD CHANGED - TELL HER OF 1983 OF YOU ALSO “WANTED IN ON IT” HAD TO THEN CHANGE FORWARD DUE I INCIDENTALLY UNKNOWINGLY CROSSED PATHS BEFORE 17+ YEARS PASSED AND I SHOULD JUST GO TO WORK FOR HEARST & WE REWRITE FUTURE PATHS.
AMANDA & WHOMEVER: AS THIS WORKS THROUGH I KNOW I EXPECTED PARTING WAS GOING TO BE BETTER AFTER SO MANY YEARS OF NO INITIATIVE EVEN BY HEARST CORP TO OPTION MY KNOWN OF WORKS PROFESSIONALLY AS FORWARD I WOULD PRICKLE AT LEARNING OF CLINTONS - THIEFS - YET HAD BEEN INVITED TO FAMILY OR CORPORATE FUNCTIONS AND YET WITHOUT HAVING HAD TO FACE JUDGEMENT FOR SO MUCH STOLEN FROM ME THAT WAS JUST A FRACTION OF THE GREATER MORE BROADER ME OF WANTING 17 YEARS TO BE MORE AT 120% FOR POSITIVE CHANGE & SO AT LEAST 50% MORE THAN MOST EVER WOULD SACRIFICE PERSONAL LIFE TO BE ANY WHERE NEAR CAPABLE OF FULLNESS & COMPLEXITY OF THAT WHICH IS ALSO OF THE 90S RECOVERY CAME MUCH THROUGH HOW MANY IDEAS I GAVE AWAY TO SPUR GROWTH, THEN INTERGRATED, AND NURSED, AND THEN SAW CLINTONS’ RISE & WIN ON & THEN OF THEIR DECIDED TO STEAL FROM ME OF THEN FORWARD WITNESSED OF THEY WHILE STEALING THEN COULDN’T, AND CAN’T STILL, ADMIT OF ME WITHOUT TRAPPING SELVES IN SELF INCRIMINATION FOR THEFT OF INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY AND EVEN IDENTITY THEFT AS BY TAKING SO MUCH THEY TOOK AWAY MY CHOSEN AMBITION AND ITS POTENTIAL INCOME NOW CONFIRMED TO HAVE BEEN OF FAR GREATER VALUE THAN YET CORRUPT THEM COULD FATHOM.
JK ROWLING & EDITORS: YES!!! IN GIVING 7BKS ON MAGIC SCHOOL IDEA CHALLENGE WITH FORWARD PLATONIC CLOAKED SUPPORT I WAS KNOWINGLY CORING SUCH WITHOUT NOTIFICATION TO JO OF TO ME I KNEW SUCH WAS ENTERTAINMENT & MOMENTUM I COULD USE AGAINST THE CLINTONS & SPECIFICALLY TO PROTECT AT LEAST A NEW NEXT GEN FROM THEM. - THIS BY SETTING OUTLINED SCOPE AS TO EXPECTING IT NOT TO TEACH AGAINST THE CLINTONS BUT FIRSTLY TO RAISE NEW TO THINK MORE AND MORE BROADLY AND TO A LEVEL ABOUT THE LIMITS OF THE CLINTONS MACHINATIONS AND CONS. CHILDREN WOULD BE PROTECTED BY LEARNED TO BE MORE OF EYES OPEN AND EXPECTING MORE DETAIL IN STORIES THAN I KNEW THE CLINTONS STRATEGIES COULD MANAGE.
AGAIN PETRA: I HOPE YOU ARE WELL - THAT OSCARS PICTURE WAS CONCERNING & YES ALSO OF THAT EARLIEST CONNECTION SADLY AS WHEN IT HAPPENED AROUND LOSE I STILL HAVE MY SELF WAS CONFUSED ON FAMILY HOLIDAY VISIT AT - AT GILLMANS - WHEN LIKE PUTTING IN AIR AS SOFT QUESTION OF “DOES PETRA HAVE A BOYFRIED OR MORE” OF THINKING YOUNG NEPHEWS SAYING “AT LEE” WAS LIKE THEM PRETENDING TO BE AT MY OTHER SISTERS HOME - AN AS “AT LEES”. I HAVEN’T THOUGHT BACK LIKE THIS FOR AWHILE. BEST WISHES FOR YOU WHATEVER THE OTHER PATHS ARE.
METZ & IBM: THIS STORY IS ALSO A GOT TRUCK - GOT HISTORY STORY AS IT WAS MY RIDE FOR SECOND DATE AS AT THE TUXEDO CLUB AND WHEN FRANK METZ, AS I & AMY DEPARTED HOUSE FOR DRIVE FROM SADDLE RIVER TO TUXEDO PARK, QUERIED OF IF I WAS READY FOR SUCH PUBLIC SPACE OF THEIR PRIVATE CLUB MY ANSWER - VERY QUICK RETORT - WAS TO HE OF SUDDEN LAUGH(?) BURST DUE MY RESPONSE NEAR:
“SURE - I’LL JUST PARK MY PICK-UP ON THE FRONT LAWN AND PUT A BIG SIGN ON IT SAYS ‘METZ’”